To try

and come up with titles that are in themselves independent in reference to their respective blogs and yet can be read from earliest to latest and form some sort of coherent idea is incredibly difficult. I'm having a hard time separating the two. I also feel this is kind of a cop-out...

In any case, we leave Tucson in three days. Holy frick. When did that happen? Though it's only for a week and a half, I'm going to miss everyone terribly. Jarrod Stewart won't be here when I get back. That will be very sad, indeed...on a different note, I am very eager for this opportunity. I need to focus. Focus, David. Focus.

That's how I should've connected my title. To try and stay focused is amazingly difficult for me. I've heard an analogy relating men to waffles (in that there are some square that aren't filled with syrup) and women to spaghetti (start at one end, who knows where you're going to end up). Another time I've heard men having boxes in their heads and women having wires. For example, work box, church box, gossip box, friend box. Men open and close these one at a time. Women have wires that all connect in one way or another. The point is, men are capable of thinking about nothing. Literally. Nothing. Women are not.

However, I don't think I have a nothing box or empty square. Rather, I have a music box. And my music box does just that. It plays music. Which is nice. Comforting. Relaxing. Mood-setting. However, the thing about music is that it produces noise and generally blocks out other sounds, aka thoughts. My music box prevents me from focusing.

Sometimes it's not loud enough. No matter what I do, I can't get the music loud enough to drown out what I hear in real life. And it drives me crazy sometimes. Duality is an interesting thing. My music box is both too loud and not powerful enough.

My music box is my distraction. My music box keeps me safe. My music box keeps me from trying and failing by keeping me from doing anything in the first place. My music box is my comfort and my frustration.

I want something else to be my comfort.

I want to focus.

Duality. I hope to write more on it later.

For now, focus.